|CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months DISK - What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seven hours at a clip. FLOPPY - The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see Chips).|
FLOPPY - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
|MEMORY - Of computer components, the most generous in terms of variety, and the skimpiest in terms of quantity. Random Access Memory - When you can't remember how much you spent on the new dress when husband asks about it FILE - A document that has been saved with an unidentifiable name. It helps to think of a file as something stored in a file cabinet - except when you try to remove the file, the cabinet gives you an electric shock and tells you the file format is unknown.|
Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"
Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"
|Student: "I forgot to make a backup copy of my brain, so everything I learned last semester was lost." A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies of the floppies.|
|A technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech "hold on", and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.A technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word|
processing files from his old (5-1/4") diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer had labeled the diskettes, then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.
|MURPHY'S COMPUTER LAWS · No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough. · Any cool program always requires more memory than you have. · Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory. · When you finally buy enough memory, you will not have enough disk space.|
|· Disks are always full. It is futile to try to get more disk space. Data expands to fill any void. · If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash. · When putting something into memory, always remember where you put it. · No matter how big a hard drive you buy, you'll need to double it in a year. · A 'debugged' program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup. · He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.|
The Graphical User Interface | VOCABULARY PRACTICE SECTION 3 | GRAMMAR PRACTICE SECTION | Breaking Windows | READING PRACTICE SECTION | SPEAKING/WRITING PRACTICE | FUN AND GAMES SECTION | PEOPLE AND COMPUTERS: INFORMATION SOCIETY | INPUT DEVICES | DATA PROCESSING |